Finding Your Style and Resisting the Urge to Follow the Crowd

Lately, I've been going through a sort of crisis with the fact that I have next to nothing published. It seems like many other people my age are living on their own with amazing jobs, doing what they love. Meanwhile, I am stuck in the same rut I have been in for years. So, I decided to do something stupid in an effort to make some money off of writing: sell out. 

I was struggling to write a children's book because they tend to be easier to publish since they are much shorter and printing costs are low. However, I came to the realization that writing at a 1st grade level is not my style. The story was boring to me; and, if it is boring to me, you can bet that it would be boring to the kids reading it too. There was no way that this would sell, and, even if it did, I would hate it. 

I had to come to terms that my style is not suited for the profitable market of publication. I like big words and prose-like descriptions. I also like writing Gothic literature, and it's hard to write that for youngins, being that it would be too scary for them. I like writing deeply psychological character-focused stories with themes too complex for children to understand. I might be able to get away with writing a 4th or 5th grade level children's novel if I push the fantasy aspect of my writing over the psychological stuff, but it would no doubt take a very long time for me to find the inspiration to get through an entire novel when it takes me over a month to complete a simple short story. 

Yes, this post was a lot more rambling than my last one, but I wanted to share these thoughts because I am sure there are other writers out there who had the same thought as I did to write what is popular with audiences just to make some quick cash when it really goes against the very essence of your work. My advice is not to go down that path because you will struggle the whole way through writing it, and you will hate yourself for it. Writing is pain, yes, but it is also supposed to be fun, and you should be proud of the work you put out into the world. Don't follow the crowd because the average reader these days likes crap like Fifty Shades of Grey, so what do they know? Someone who reads just what is popular and can't form their own opinions is not worth your talent.

The Agonizing Wait- Or Wondering if Your Work is Good Enough

As some of you may know, I had recently written a short story to submit to an online publisher that was having a special themed magazine in mind and were accepting short story submissions of the post-apocalyptic genre. Of course, this was a struggle for me because apocalyptic stories of any kind are not my strong-suit, as I am usually more character-focused than world-focused. It was also stressful because I had never written a story outside of my genre in only two weeks, which is all the time I had before the deadline. (I only found out after I had submitted that the deadline was pushed back. Sure, I was angry, but I apparently work well under pressure, so hurray for that!)

Nonetheless, with many factors working against me, I made it work. While the story I turned out is of the apocalyptic persuasion, I still crafted it to be the Gothic literature that I know and love. In fact, the ending was so cruel that it even made me, the writer, tear up a bit. It was perfect.

However, I didn't feel that way for long. Many writers go through this stage of thinking that their work is crap after they have already submitted it and can make no further changes to it. Not to mention the fact that I have to wait on a response, whether positive or negative, for about five months. Five months! That is such an agonizingly long wait. I would really like the response to be affirmative so that I can have a publication under my belt that is my work alone. (I have only previously published a comic book that I only co-write and an article about steampunk, but none of my own stories have been professionally published.)

The other sad thing about this is that I expended so much creative energy trying to push that story out in two weeks that, when I attempt to work on some of the other stories I have planned, nothing good comes out of it. I was working on a children's book that I wanted to be a picture book, but now I'm thinking of restarting it as a chapter book because I can't seem to get the plot going fast enough for such a young audience. I know that it is a petty complaint, but I want to branch out a bit more with age groups because most of what I have produced so far can only be enjoyed by young adults or full-grown adults, but I enjoy reading children's books the most, so it would make sense for me to write for that audience, right?

In short, waiting for a response back about one story is making me doubt my ability to write other stories. It is not like this is the first time I've ever submitted something. In fact, I have tried to publish two other short stories and three poems before, all to no avail. However, for some reason, this one is hitting me hard. I have a feeling that it has something to do with the fact that I have been joining in on writers' groups and meetings lately, and it seems like everyone is published except for me. I don't want to be trailing behind the group, floundering in a world that I can't seem to break in to. I want people to recognize that I have talent, too. Maybe that request is a little selfish... but it would be nice to be able to share my creations with many people in a way that will also allow me to pay off my student debt.